Something fascinating I heard on TV tonight following the debates.

CNN reported that 51 percent of their viewers thought Obama won the debate, 46 percent thought McCain won, and the rest were undecided. FOX News reported 81 percent of their viewers thought McCain won the debate, 9 percent thought Obama won, and the rest were undecided. And the FOX announcers were trumpeting that fact!

I know FOX is biased, and I never watch the channel for that reason, but I decided to check it out tonight to see what they had to say. And now I remember why I don't watch FOX News. As a journalist, I find FOX's representation of Tuesday night's debate a disgrace to my profession. The FCC should force that network to state a clause before each broadcast that says something like this: "The following program should be considered for Info-tainment purposes only, and is not to be considered an unbiased representation of televised events, live or pre-recorded."

Campaign Ethics

On another note about the debate, there is something that's really starting to bother me .... bad enough I feel it deserves to be published here at The Wagger.

Shouldn't there be a rule in place about candidates telling blatant lies about their opponent's positions?

During the most important part of our political process -- electing a president -- shouldn't it be illegal for candidates to make up "facts" about their opponent in an attempt to purposely mislead the public to gain the favor of voters?

I mean, it's illegal to slander someone, or to commit libel against another person, which is defined as "anything that is defamatory or that maliciously or damagingly misrepresents." So, why does our political process allow this law to be thrown out like a chicken bone at a football game?

McCain keeps saying Obama wants to raise personal income taxes 50 percent (can you imagine if that was true? If you're already paying 31 percent, or whatever the second highest bracket is, then you would be paying 46 percent-or-so -- my math is probably way off? Still, whatever the correct number is it would be nuts!) and fine small business owners who do not buy into the health insurance plan he is going to "force them to purchase."

The truth is, Obama's plan (whether it will come to pass or not), as he says in public and as he has published on his website, is to cut personal income taxes for 95 percent of all wage earners, or for those people who earn less than $250,000 annually, and he wants to provide a tax credit for small business owners who purchase into a health insurance plan for their employees.

Pointing out the Truth

CNN does a great job of sorting through each debate, presenting both points of view (to the point where Larry King had all Republican guests following coverage of the DNC Convention, and vice versa for the GOP) and setting the record straight when one candidate states false information about the other. The only problem is, how many people do you really think sit around and listen to the post-debate commentary by a team of political pundits? Talking heads. Mostly white people at that. I would guess that perhaps 15 percent of the audience -- and that's probably a very liberal guess -- tune in for at least another 10 minutes after the end of the debate.

National newspapers, like the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal, pointed out McCain's lie about Barack's stance on taxes, but only the first time it happened; not each and every time the offense is committed. So, that means every time McCain spews that lie there is a large portion of the public hearing it for the first time and digesting it as fact. Even after Obama corrects McCain a large percentage of the audience is most likely thinking that Obama is lying, simply because a lot of people believe all politicians lie, all of the time, to cover their ass whenever it suits them.

Finally, tonight, Obama snapped back, saying, "It appears a wheel came off the Straight Talk Express." For me, that wasn't biting enough. He should have said something like, "You know, Sen. McCain, if you want to continue these debates so that the American public can make an informed, intelligent decision about casting their vote for president I would appreciate it, and, I'm sure, everyone watching would appreciate it too, if you would refrain from telling blatant lies. If you want to disagree with my platform, that's fine and in fact I welcome it -- point out what you would do differently. But flat-out lying to the public is a discredit to you, insulting to voters, and a disservice to your country."

Lessons Unlearned

What happened to McCain's slogan, "Country First?" It went out the window with that chicken bone.

One would think that after Karl Rove and Pres. Bush -- well, their campaign -- made all those phone calls to potential voters in South Carolina back in 2000, asserting that McCain had an illegitimate, black baby, and after McCain cried Ethics Foul in the following days, one would think McCain would take the high road.

Nope .... Ain't. Gonna. Happen.

Also, McCain said Obama voted for an energy bill that was laden with earmarks, or pork, for big oil companies, and then he said he "does not and will not vote for pork-heavy legislation -- ever." BUT HE JUST VOTED FOR THE BAILOUT BILL AND THE $140 BILLION IN PORK IT CONTAINED!!!!!

This election sucks for me. I really liked and respected McCain, for years and years, and until Super Tuesday this year I still entertained the idea of voting for him, although there is no way I could elect another Republican to the White House after the last seven years (Bush didn't do anything until the a day or two after 9-11). But I've lost a lot of respect for McCain since he hit the campaign trail as the nominee. And, I've always liked the Clinton's a lot, but the way they are handling Obama's run for office -- by virtually becoming invisible since the DNC Convention -- I've lost a lot of respect for them.

Praying for Pittance of Sense

I just hope voters out there are able to approach this election intelligently, with foresight, and realize that putting Sarah Palin one step away from leading our nation, when her answer to "Do you believe you are qualified to become the President of the United States of America in the event something happens to Sen. McCain?" And her answer was, "This country provides the greatest amount of hope to the world of any nation on the earth. My views are in line with Sen. McCain's views, and together we will be able to affect positive change on society."

Her non-answer tells me she is in denial about what it means to be vice president. This is a nation where George Bush was able to become president twice. I just pray that, come election day, there are no shenanigans with the popular votes cast, or ballots, or hanging chads, or electronic voting booths, or waiting in line in Ohio in Democrat precincts only, or I-5 in Central Florida .... I just hope this election is straight-forward honest. The way it should be. Democracy. The proud principle on which our country was founded. And no matter how well people feel McCain would do in the Oval Office, I just hope they realize putting Palin that close to being the chief executive in charge of our nation, not to mention the commander-in-chief of our armed forces, I just hope they realize it could become a disaster from which our nation may never recover.

No matter how much of a dyed-in-the-wool Republican someone can be, they have to see how dangerous that is .... right?

Right.

Similar posts: love life

9 loads of laundry.


Yes, really. Nine (9) loads of laundry. I do at least nine loads of laundry every Monday. Some people do laundry all week long....whites on Monday, colors on Tuesday, darks on Wednesday, delicate on Thursday, etc...not me! I don't want the dirty clothes hanging around all week long.

Instead, I just make sure everyone has enough underwear and socks to get through a week and then I do the laundry on Monday. I make it sound like I don't like doing laundry but really I do like to see those big ol' piles of laundry get done through out the day....the piles getting smaller and smaller and the really clean, wonderful smelling clothes coming out of the dryer are such a measured accomplishment. I also love the way laundry day makes the house and the air outside around the house smell so good.

All week long the clothes collect in clothes hampers in each of the bedrooms and the upstairs bathrooms. By the end of the week they are all pretty full. I gather all of the hampers and dump them all in our hallway upstairs. From there I make big piles of white, color, dark, and delicate clothes. I fill one of my hampers with clothes from the white pile. (The hamper is the perfect size for an extra large load in my washer) I usually end up doing at least 2 loads of each pile of clothes. Gracie loves to help find the clothes with stains and stand on her tiptoes to put the clothes in the washer. She thinks it's funny when I pile wet clothes on top of her for her to put into the dryer. We laugh a lot and it makes the laundry fun. When the clothes come out of the dryer they get piled on our loveseat.
I AM NOT A FOLDER...meaning I don't fold clothes and I really don't iron them (sacrilege!). It needs to be pretty important for me to pull out the ironing board and iron. So...I have a basket for each room. I divide the clothes into the basket for the people that belong in the room where the clothes are supposed to be put away. Everyone is responsible for taking their baskets to their room. I have some kids who like to fold their clothes and some who take them out of their baskets and stuff them in their drawers. Everyone gets to choose how they want their clothes to go into their dresser. the laundry is now done until next Monday.

So...maybe the laundry is something that you could let go a little. Maybe you don't need to do a load every single day. Maybe your don't need to be folding all of those clothes that are going to end up in a heap anyway...and maybe your kids can do a little more to help with the laundry. There are ways to make the chores around your house more fun AND easier on you. Notice what you love about the things you do around the house, the smell of clean clothes, the laughing 4 year old with wet clothes on her head when she's helping move clothes from the washer to the dryer, and the feeling of getting a big job done.

There's sweetness in everything....
LOVE. LIFE.

Similar posts: love life

well, I did end up doing that craft sale today.
but it wouldn't have mattered if I didn't.
I didn't sell one thing.
but if I had a dollar for everytime someone said my stuff was cute-
well,
I wouldn't be rich,
but I would be richer than I am now.

Cory and Ben went down south to see Cory's grandpa.
he is pretty sick.
that is no good.

only 8 people want one of my cute tile neclaces?
come on people.
they are so cute.
just make a comment here,
and one could be yours.
super fabulous necklace.
one of a kind.
go for it!
make my day.

and did I miss office this week?, or was it really not on.
so sad.
please tell me it wasn't on, because I would be really sad if I missed a new one.

my 3 1/2 year old just is not getting the pooping on the potty thing.
so it really, truly is stinky.

but-
I did get my tomatoes canned.
thanks mom.
and I did get to spend the day with my sister- at the craft sale.
thanks Shelley, that was fun.
-and there were two cute ladies at the table beside us who had really cute bags, and they didn't sell many either, and they were really nice.
and I get to watch whatever show I want on tv tonight. or maybe my chick flick I have been wanting to watch.
and I think I will do that while eating chocolate and knitting.
what a great way to end a somewhat stinky day.

Similar posts: love life

I think that we all have a set of mostly irrational fears tucked away somewhere in our pretty little heads. Mine are not necessarily inexplicable events that I secretly worry will befall me (that would be a novel in itself) but rather hideous normal things in this world of ours that absolutly disgust or terrify me on some ridiculous level. I would be interested to hear what yours are. Here are mine. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. I present you with a list of a few things of which I am either irrationally afraid and/or disgusted.
1. Ladybugs. I am 100% terrified of ladybugs touching me, flying next to me, sitting in my window sills or just plain looking at me wrong. Maybe it’s because, oh I don’t know, where there is one there is A MILLION MORE ON THEIR WAY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD. There is a particular situation from high school that still sticks out in my mind. A good friend of mine had stayed at my house one evening, and was unamused with how late I chose to sleep the following morning. After may attempts to wake me (something very dangerous that I do not recommend trying if you value your limbs) proved unsuccessful, she had an idea. A horrible, evil, rotten idea. She quietly removed a lady bug from the window sill and placed it on my pillow. Once she told me of its location I was out of bed faster than a bat out of hell. Looking back it was quite brilliant, but that does not mean I find it amusing! I can feel the question burning in your mind: Is there anything worse than a ladybug on your pillow? I don’t think I even need to answer this, but, YES THERE IS. The only thing worse than a lady bug on your pillow, is a ladybug on your pillow one inch from your eyeball. THAT WAS THE BIGGEST LADYBUG I HAVE EVER SEEN.
2. Kidnapper vans. You know what I’m talking about. Those solid color, enormous vans with no windows on the sides, to prevent the public from seeing the poor tortured souls chained to each other inside? Those. I fear that when I’m parked next to a van in a parking lot (or when a van pulls up alongside me while I’m walking down the street), someone is going to open the door and pop out to grab me, take me away, and do horrible things to me somewhere. I don’t recall being worried about abduction as a child, but now that I’m all grown up, apparently it’s an entirely likely thing to happen.
3. Grasshoppers. Also included in this category are crickets, frogs and/or any other disgusting creature that makes a living by launching itself into my trajectory. Perhaps I could benefit from some intensive psychotherapy to get to the bottom of why these insects bother me so much because I really don’t know. Wait a minute..YES I FUCKING DO. Remember that one time in high school, when a “Friend” thought it would be a total bitch move hilarious to shove a live cricket down the front of my homecoming gown? Remember how I cried and was paralyzed with fear to the point where I couldn’t stick my own hand down my dress to fish it out, because then, THEN it would be touching me in two locations at one time? Remember how a real friend did it for me? Remember how we are still friends to this day? Yea.
4. Police dogs. I like most dogs now, I truly do. But those behemoth ones that work for the LAPD? Not so much. Maybe it’s because they are possibly trained killers disguised in puppy packaging, (and that’s just dishonest) or maybe it’s because they are big enough to bite my face off in one giant motion, but I avoid these at all costs. And that’s hard with the illegal brothel I run out of my basement.
5. Pigeons. I DON’T know why I’ve never seen a baby pigeon, but I do know that I never want to. These kamikaze birds fly in and out of crowds of people and I’ve come close to one flying directly into my face on more than one occasion. I will, gladly, take a detour to a avoid a throng of these flying death monkeys.
5. Dandelions. I don’t know what my problem with dandelions is specifically, but I do know that they are fucking gross. The next time you are unfortunate enough to find yourself within the vicinity of these repulsive objects, turn one over and look at the underside of its ‘head’. That is if you dare touch one. Which I fucking don’t. What’s with the oozing white semen-like substance? What the hell is that? And what’s with them multiplying at the speed of light? Completely ridiculous.
Well I think that about does it. Now you all know how to give me a heart attack: Stick me in a patch of dandelions, glue some ladybugs on top of each one, release a plethora of pigeons over head carrying bags of crickets to rain from from above, and surround me with rabid police dogs released from unidentified kidnapper vans. That is MY WORSE NIGHTMARE.
So tell me, of what are you afraid? Besides McCain/Palin. And also, II think well do a QA Monday. Im feeling ambitious. Submit your fears and your questions as a comment on this post and I will answer them Monday morning. Or at least by Monday evening. I realize Im asking for a lot of reader participation, especially for a Friday, but well, I just really like you guys.

Similar posts: love life

1) Resilience is our capacity to cope, over the long-haul, with stress, catastrophe, and tragedy. It's the process of adapting well in the face of adversity and significant sources of stress. Resilience is our "Buoyancy"...our ability to pop back up to the surface after we have been hit by one of life's curve balls.

2) Research shows that "Resilience" is ordinary, not extraordinary. Ordinary people
exhibit resilience every day, like after 911. However, most people could learn to be more resilient and this would improve their physical and emotional health!

3) Being "resilient" does not mean that a person does not experience difficulty or distress, emotional pain, anger, frustration, or sadness. In fact, resilient people DO experience their emotions. They just don't get stuck in them long term.

4)Resilience is not a trait that you either have or don't have. Resilience involves behaviors, thoughts, and actions that can be learned and developed.

5) A combination of factors contribute to "Resilience" and the number one factor is having caring and supportive relationships within and outside the family. These are relationships that create love and trust, provide role models, and offer encouragement and support. These kinds of relationships bolster "resilience".

6) There are many "tips" for building your own "resilience". A few of these are to make connections where you can accept help and support, find people to listen, assist others during their time of need, avoid seeing the crisis as insurmountable ( so work on how you talk and think about what has happened)and move toward your goals, even the smallest ones.

7) Many people improve their resilience because of their foundation of faith. Their faith helps them be resilient in the face of tragedy.

Yesterday at church we sang a song called "Pressing My Way!" Our congregation, which is mostly African American and struggling financially, sings this song with so much gusto that it almost blows the roof off of our church.

The chorus says:

I won't give up
I won't turn around
I am holding on
I'll rely on God
I'm keepin' my faith
I'm pressing my way!

Their resilience, their absolute refusal to give up against great odds, truly inspires me. They rally around and comfort those who are hurting. They avoid seeing a crisis as insurmountable. They constantly say, "God is bigger than this obstacle!"

In their storms of life that would make many of us consider giving up...
they find their resilience in God's grace and power! As one member said to me yesterday, "I am so sad that every cell I have is weeping. But I will leave it all at the altar. God is BIG enough to handle it ALL!"

While life's storms are not at my door today, I know they may be here tomorrow. I also know that for many of the people I love and care about... life is full of stress and adversity. May we all be "pressing our way" surrounded and comforted by those we love. May we remember to be caring and supportive people for others so we bolster their resilience. Our need for their loving help and support may only be just around the corner!

Loves and hugs to all who read this!
God Bless.

Similar posts: love life

" Stop touching your hair .
If not, it'll fall out more .
The more you touch,
the more it shows that you have a low-self esteem issue,
something you shudnt have .
You look good enough already .
You dont need attract to the guys,
the guys will attract you .
Dont feel bad because your relationship didnt work out,
its just shows how much the guy is losing out " .

HELLO !
im so in my raye spirit .
semangat lah eh .
im blasting my speakers with hari raye songs,
and im going to iron my baju kurung,
packet the kuih in box,
and polish the shoes .
HAH !
semangat semangat .
:D

Im having fun with life,
cant you see.
Im grinning widely,
and ask Faiz how hyper i was in class jst now .
Cause ive realised that whethere im having fun or not,
time will still pass .
So why not make evrythg full use of it ?

So anyway,
today i was so semangat to go to sch .
I woke up real early,
and went to sch with dearest .
Of course it was fun, kan dearestlove perh .
;D

k den had lessons,
physics was nice,
cause i got 15/20 for test .
HAHA, miracle oi .
k den had malay,
and maths .
Maths was fun with capital f,
cause i was irritating faiz all the way,
and i laughed real hard ;D
English was not bad either .
I cant believe i said that .
HAHA -.-

After sch,
went to town,
did hair thing for ain and ttwq .
fun lah eh, watching ppl get hair done -.-
bought super duper amazing jacket,
and we had a load of fun,
didnt we girls ?

" ain, dah 15 tahun seh . "
" ah ? 15 ? "
" ye lah, besok kan 27RAMADAN . remember tak "
" wahhh, dah 15 eh ? HAHA! "
she knws what i mean,
i knw what she mean .
;D

So anyway,
exams are coming,
and i havent start revising .
baik ke ape anisah .
pfffffffffffffffft .
i suck, dont remind me .

and ey loverboy .
one day didnt talk to you,
it felt odd .
:/

sapao,
ilyyyyyyyyyyyy .
eventho we've been not like talking like we used to,
i still love you,
;D

happy early 27,
cintaku .

Similar posts: love life

Now before any of you get upset with these assumptions, Im just stating the fact that the way you have set up your office will greatly affect how other people perceive you.
Of course, clutter is not the only area to address if you want to project a professional image, however it plays a bit part. There are several easy to implement ideas which will have a dramatic impact on your productivity, providing you take action.
If you seriously would like to turn your office into a powerhouse of success, then take action on these tips from Feng Shui guru Debra Jarvis
The First Step
Move everything out of the area designated as the office, especially whats stored in cupboards and up on shelves. There is no place to hide from Feng Shui eyes. Bring back in only those items that are relevant. Evaluate the other stuff, do you love it, is it useful? If not get rid of it (sell, dump or give it away).
Everything in its Place
It is important that all items have a designated place to which they are returned after use. Put things used frequently in the most accessible spots. Time spent working is much more pleasant when we can easily locate and access items when required.
Set up Your Power Position
Place yourself in the power position. This is the position where you have a view of every entryway. Where you have a choice of places or directions, put your office chair in each position and sit quietly for a few minutes getting an idea of what it would be like to spend time there. The one that immediately feels right is your power position. When you set yourself up in the power position you have control in the space, your self-esteem will go up and you accomplish more. Try it for 28 days and if you dont find any benefits (including increased business) then change the position.
Clean and Clear Clutter
Maintain a clear desktop. Paperwork is relentless in its onslaught. Deal with it immediately, use TRAF (Toss, Refer, Act or File). Creating a pile to deal with later creates clutter and clutter is bad Feng Shui.
Remove Obstacles
Make your office area inviting to come into. In Feng Shui it is considered that opportunity flows to us in direct proportion to the ease of entry and the welcome that is experienced in our workplaces. This applies even when we are the only ones who ever go there. Only have items that you personally care for. Feng Shui tells us that everything is alive with memories, feelings and associations. What are the objects in your office saying to you? Question their origin, did you come by it because thats all you could find at the time, are you still in a good relationship with the person who gave it to you, would something else be more suitable?
Condition Audit
Does everything in your office work and is everything kept in optimal condition? In Feng Shui it is very important that we either attend to the repair of items immediately or where we are not prepared to do this we discard them. An item that is less than ideal is said to begin negatively impacting after 28 days.
Lighting
Use natural light as much as possible. Use incandescent electric lighting in preference to fluorescent. It is less tiring to work under especially if you are also operating a computer. Harsh white light is not optimal for working under. If you have to use fluorescent use full-spectrum (daylight) bulbs and experiment with only utilising half as many ie: where there is a double fitting only install one bulb.
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Plants
Plants absorb potentially harmful gases and clean the air. During the day they take the air we breathe out and recycle it. You can use plants in your office to improve the quality of the air to make it a more pleasant place to work. When people feel good, they perform better. It is important that the plants are well cared for and that they remain healthy and vibrant.
Water
Water features are another wonderful Feng Shui enhancement. As water symbolises opportunity and abundance, ensure that water is not stagnant and, if flowing, the fall is a full 360 degrees or towards the centre of the occupied space.
Debra can be contacted at Feng Shui Miracles, (07) 3367 0162 or e-mail: fengshui@powerup.com.au
The Final Word
It makes sense doesnt it? When you have an uplifting environment to work in, you feel good, you look good and youre more productive. Think about thishow many hours a week are you in your office? Probably more hours than you spend at home. All you need to do now is take action!
Its worth the effort to make some simple yet very effective changes so that you can powerup your worklife. All you need to do now is take action!
About The Author
Lorraine specialises in working with businesspeople showing them how to dramatically boost their productivity, reduce the stress and the mess in their lives and have more time for enjoying their life. www.office-organiser.com.au, lorraine@office-organiser.com.

Similar posts: love life

We saw a real need for this taxonomy-based catalog after reading this discussion on the extensive lists to be found at the now (apparently) defunct I Heart Shirts. And now that we've finally put together all the pieces, we need your help to make this website sing -- and we're going to pay you for your efforts.

We're going to keep track of user points through the month of October (right on through Halloween) and the top five users -- by points -- will each earn a $25 gift certificate. Participants will earn 5 points for every link submitted and 1 point for each comment. You must sign up to the website to participate (and suggest links) but everyone is welcome to use our website to find the t-shirt website for you.

So what are you waiting for? Stop by and sign up now to become a part of the greatest t-shirt links collection on the Internet.

Similar posts: love life

news with yours truly:

-Work was uber busy, I missed the dance/UFC thanks to it....yay....*kill self*

-Liz and I are going on Tuesday (tentatively) to go renew our "Learners Licences" then we both are keen on getting back up to speed and getting our "N's" ASAP...goodbye pedestrianism!

-I will be working crazy amounts of overtime due to shift covering and the fact that 2 weddings are happening this schedule and no one can work....*sigh* thank goodness it'll help with tuition but on my one day off I'll probably be cleaning my old apartment :(

-My previous flirting with someone has ended in me thinking he's a giant weirdo creeper so thats over before it really began....:(

school soon YAY!!! Scott we have to wear preppy clothing the first day back and have a scotch!

Took a look at Liz's apartment, she said I could move in Sept 1st rent-free! cause it would be my first school month and plus she doesnt want me in my parents place one more day than I have to just because of finances. (she said it'll cause me to kill random customers and tripple my emotional baggage lolz) The place is gorgeous, skylights, large windows, huge bedrooms, my own purple bathroom hehe, its perfect! She's also a ghost and basically living at her boyfriend's so it would be kick ass.

Similar posts: love life

the William Morris exhibit I saw with my parents at the Hunter Museum on Sunday, but I'm still thinking about it a few days later. It was the Artifact Panel that left the biggest impression upon me, and I keep finding myself wishing that I'd taken a covert illegal photo of it as was my first instinct.

It was huge, a panel running the length of one big wall, with hundreds of hand-blown glass vessels and objects attached to it with delicate, spindly claws that looked more like giant straight-pins, giving it all the effect of a meticulous collection of gargantuan insects pinned to a board. The vessels were straightforward vases, small and round to almost goofily phallic, but also abstract shapes and other figures-- and my favorites were the birds, which the almost undetectable fingers of the pin-claws curled around like they were keeping them from flying away. The colors ran bright to muted, but everything nearly glowed in the low light that cast shadows of the items and the pins in a weird web pattern across the wall.

It was, to be completely inartful with words here, just really cool.

Similar posts: love life

I have just watched the Sex and the City film.
I have never really been into love films and whenever I see them I always close my eyes and mute it during the break-up that happen at least once during every film.
Well, as I had heard that the ending wasn’t what would be expected I watched the whole thing (the proper girly way with cheese cake and Chinese, yeah actually!!)
The ending was happy and I was happy, but the film made me wonder about my own love life.

I seem to have a perception of being someone that I don’t feel like myself.

My brother thought I was going to be a single journalist living in Italy with a small car driving around the small streets of a small Italian town. Well, I don’t know but when I heard that a long time ago, I guess I was about 13 I am now 22.

I thought; ‘that isn’t really me’ and then I started to think how other people perceive my love life. My parents, for example, saw me as an independent girl, who would live alone and have boyfriends, but not live with them and be my own person.

Thing is, I find these ‘perceivments’ strange, as I have always been a homey person, a person who would rather be at home with my family and talk, listen to music and discuss life problems than go out on town, and my parents know that.

Thing is, that is the way I am in my love life too. I look for stability and never ending love, and I find it, easily, and then I dream of the other life…but, in the end, I seem to like this life better.

I am 22 and I am living with my boyfriend, I love him and I want to live with him, but at the same time I wish I had lived a bit more on my own and been my own person and had the single life for a bit longer, but as I am writing this, I also don’t fancy it. Maybe I am just thinking that I want this life, because it has been glorified by the media… I never thought of myself as someone who would be affected by the media because I have always been myself in all situations and I have been proud of that, but when I think about it, I seem to want that single life the girls in Sex and the City lived…so it seems that I am only wanting something on telly.

Because that kind of life, may exist, but not every single day.

And after a while when I have been home alone, the only thing I want is for my boyfriend to come home so I can be with him, sit beside him and just ‘do normal things’ (referring to telly watching, cooking and putting together a jigsaw of London – yes on Saturday I bought a jigsaw of London and we have started to put it together and it is great fun!!)

When I meet blokes I like instead of wanting to be with them I really want them as mates. See, I used to have almost only bloke friends, until a certain age, and they all turned to potential boyfriends and didn’t want to be with me if that wasn’t the case. And that breaks my hearth too because I feel a lot better in guy company. So I guess that when I am older it will go back to being that way…or maybe not, as they will all have to go home to their wives.

I have never been that way, I always want to go out alone and my boyfriend can do that too, but I have seen that in many relationships that is not the case.

Another thing is that I have always fancied older men, not older as in oooold…but guys from 6 years older than me and up.

I know the reason to this, I do know some psychology, and the reason is that my brother is 5 years older than me, his friends older than him and those were the ones I always hung out with. Also, my father works in football and I have joined him on several business trips being a lot older than myself. I remember when I was about 17…I was out with some people in Liverpool and I was cheering in cognac and discussing Italian wine with a footballing star. The man asked me – ‘so, how many kids do you have?’ so yeah, I know I have always felt like I belonged with an older crowd.

But sometimes I do miss being young, but when I do go out with people my age I just don’t feel comfortable all the time.

Another funny thing is how I feel different in the country I am in.
When I am in my native country I feel a lot older than when I am in London living with my boyfriend and my mates (well, an obvious reason is that I am quite a lot younger than them over here and in my country my mates are mostly my age)

One of my best friends at home wants to move in with her boyfriend and she doesn’t understand how I sometimes find it scare to live with a boy (‘Im going to live with a boy!!’)
She tells me to ‘grow up’.
But she is my age and I reckon that when she gets to that place, it doesn’t matter how old or young you are, it will still be a strange and sometimes scary feeling.

At the moment I am home alone and I am listening to a CD from a film I saw a long time ago. The official soundtrack is very inspirational and the chorus go like this: ‘I want to feel that I am alive, every single day. I want to live as I wish….’ And I love that…
The thing is, I am trying to work this out….how to feel that I am alive and live as I wish when there is someone else there as well?

I feel I can do that, especially when I have a keyboard in front of me (I love to write – this is not my first blog, but most of my blogs, before and after the Internet, are handwritten, not in diary form, but just on sheets of paper that I have lost over time)…

I think it is important to live with and without the person you are living with…which was probably why my bf broke up with his last gf as they lived and worked together.

One of the ways I have managed to live by myself is, for example, by walking to work. It takes me two hours (yeah it is quite far!) but I like it.

If we go back to the boys for a bit, at the moment I find it very difficult to talk to them. Not difficult as in embarrassing, it is a lot easier for me to talk to them than any girl. But at the moment whatever I do seem to be perceived as flirting and I am aware of that but it is the way I am in nature. I will give out compliments, smile, make jokes, touch and discuss, but the last few months it seems that they all think I want something else.

It is really annoying as I really want some more boy-friends, but it seems very difficult.

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-Pray for campers to come with expectancy
-Pray for yourself that you will walk closely with the Father
-Pray for God to tell you if you should come and experience life with him and to renew the fire in yourself

-Pray also for SM/DG mates to have intentional discipleship during the camp, that they will come to know one another even more, growing together.
-Disciples will have a FAT heart (Faithful, Available, Teachable) SMs to have a PLUM heart. (Patient, Loving, Understanding compassionate, Mature)

-Pray for the leaders which have been appointed, pray that God will also minister to them

Program
-Pray for the speakers: Eeleen, Tony and John that the words of God will be spoke through them. May God give them the wisdom and knowledge to prepare the message.
-Pray that more people will sign up quickly and not delay.
-Pray that God will really be experienced during the camp.

Last but not least, do keep the Camp Committee in prayer.

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- newest was posted yesterday
15 September 2008, 8 hours ago (F)  age 18-21 - I'm tired of my ex's crap... Well, now he's my ex, but we're usually on and off... The problem is he can't tolerate my past, any part of it, he analyzes, and analyzes, and blah blah blah... Problem is, in my past I was a virgin. My "past" were a couple drunken make out se... (312 words) 
I can control the orgasm but the problem is that when I'm ready my penis retracts, is this normal.

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Carl Phillips


To pass
steadily, patient, ever-wanting out of
one darkness, and into a next one, and again
out: so a life is made -- not the worst one;
perhaps the only one, around which
what had looked original or like some
chance-of-escape
exception has been so much ringing
of changes on a theme
weve heard. Who can say? But this time the dark
is more dark than any Ive known
before, and Ive know many. At each, Ive taken
leave as if leave-taking were itself
souvenir -- as, in the end, it seems, it
will have had to be. The rest may as well
be writ on memory even I wouldnt trust
too far, not as
unwaveringly, at leat, as I trust
my ability to make distinctions that
still matter, here, if only to me: the openness
I call the sea is not that openness that I once called
ocean, for example; or
theres a distance, a very real one, between
granting to no one especially and
withholding from all concerned parties equally
ones body first, then something less
tangible, not tangible at all, that
somehow counts more. One saw that, one
eventually came to . . . Theres a cover-of-night
part of me,
inside me, that remembers exactly how I became
-- what Ive become. A silence falls there,
in that darkness, sometimes like a first falling
crop of snow, sometimes like the reverse
of when the singer, having found
the one note at last worth holding onto, begins
lifting it; and the crowd, whose gift it is -- no, whose
best instinct is
to know a gift when it hears one -- follows,
as a crowd is meant to. There are rules. They were
there from the start. There are those who,
when they love a thing, must break it first, in order that
the beloved require them
more absolutely, dont you know me
by now.

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Ijus realised now howdumb i am. I took up almost everything. My life is like a time bomb nw, it will go off anytime soon, crap. I have got 5 school projects (must do), A cappella fest (next week), NDP(2 weeks from nw), A cappella Champs (3 days after NDP), Dance project(this sat morning), More dance project (due in one month dun know how many days),NJRC's hip hop dance (sec sch) and last but notthe least salsa lesson.

Allow me to explain,school projectsare no excuss, i will have to depend on them to pass my exam. However,5 PROJECTS AT ONE GO, WOOOOOO.Quality service, Principal of communication (POC), BQTOperation (BOM), English and Microeconomic. English is easy jus have to do journalfor every lesson. That not a big problem. Quality service is something we have done before, so i supposed it not a very big problem also,POC and BOM are tie in together, meaning 2 projects do together. This is the problem, BOM is an impt subject for this sem and so is POC however, i'm group withpeople that to do work! *SHIT*. That not really helpful. Which mean i have to go solo for this. Here come econs, something i know nut abt it, can someone pls help me with it. i really need help with econs. GOSH!

Lining up next is A cappella Fest, next wed and thus, we are not sure who are the singers, but we are told that everyone is singing. Hereanother problem, we do not know what songs are we singing and (NOTE THIS PROBLEM LIESWITH ME) the performance clash with my NDP practise. DARN! There are solutions, but dun knowwill they work, I go for performance but right after our item end i will rush off to mypractise, however problems are, first i have no idea when is our item. It will be kind of useless to rush down for practise when our item is at the ending of the fest. Second solution is, i perform for onli one of the day, but here the problem, Angie might say something like :"since you are going to perform forone day onli you might as well dun perform." Hmmmmm, trouble trouble. Will have to comfirm with Angie again once she is back from overseas.

Following that is NDP, it jus around the corner and practises are becoming more n more. Itnw wed n thus andnot jus wed alone. Still got combinepractise.2 more weeks to NDP it really exciting to look forward to. However, i have studies and a cappella fest which clashes with 2 of my practise which i mention earlier on.Not forgetting i got a dance exam come up this sat (IMPT). Haiz, i'm asking for it though.

Then i have a cappella champs which is three days after NDP, WTF! This i will not say much. Coz there is nth to say abt it

Now i have got my dance project which is due this sat and in one month and dun know how days later. i have got the steps which is still ok, BUT I DUN HAVE DANCERS, DIE!!!!!!!!! Well let see, i was given 4 month do to this project, slack for one month then busy with other things till nw still busy. SEE LA COLIN YOU ASK FOR IT ONE, DUN BLAME OTHERS. Hmmm well not blaming anyone really, coz there is no one to blame but myself for taking up sooooo many things. Now all i can do is find as many dancers asi can and make the best out of it.

NJRC hip hop was asked by my sec sch junior. They needed help. I could have rejected them by saying no i cannot coz i have too many things to do, But NOOOOOO I NV REJECT THEM, I STILL HAPPILY SAY OK I WILL HELP YOU. COLINWTH IS WRONG WITHYOU MAN. YOUR ALREADY SO BUSY AND YET YOU WAN TO HELP THEM. HELLO WAKE UP HELP YOURSELF FIRST CAN. Haiz i ask for it. T_T.

Lastly is my salsa lesson, it does not affect me much really. so i can't say much abt itbut the fact that i still enjoy learning it.

O no, i jus realised i still got soka dance, wao lao. die la. really die man

There you have it, my life, so hectic so busy and why? COZ I DUN HOW TO SAY NO. crys T_T.

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A man calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.

Again, he calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning and beautiful woman he has ever seen in his life. She too is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me."

Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.

Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program. "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."

The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, you my biotch!" He lost 63 pounds that week.

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i feel yucky. will eventually get over it - within an hour or so. i'll be leaving the office to buy food, books and who knows, maybe nail polish that's even a brighter shade of red than the one i currently have (almost impossible). i need that. really, really do. some might consider it retail therapy, i call it my little distraction. not saying that i buy things to feel better, i just have to see pretty things, bright colors - and people. whether i take it home or not, it makes me forget about what's bothering me at the moment. see? my little distraction.

the last week of august is where it all started. it is usually filled with mixed emotions, because the last week of august is when i went to the states for the first time. everybody told me i will fail, but i found the biggest JOY in proving them wrong. they're still speechless, because i did it. fuck ya'll.

a few years ago - the last week of august i had to say goodbye to someone who helped me become who i am today. that seems to become a regular thing now. why the last week of august?

apart from the fact that there are a few strange public holidays like kiss and make up day (august 25), national dog day (august 26), global forgiveness day (august 27), race your mouse day (august 28), more herbs, less salt day (august 29)...

the last week of august is probably a time for a fresh start - do other things. try something new and just DO, DO, DO!

it's too easy to be on the safe side. it's too easy to stick to what you know and what's considered "normal" or the "right way". fuck that.

i feel better. thanks.




*update* 2.12pm

just got back to the office and feel MUCH better. got some food in my body, bought nail polish, black (not red) and bought a book too! my little distraction always works. oh joy.

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Your love life is something that needs to be worked on all the time and not only when it is broken and needs to be fixed. Our loving relationships must constantly be nurtured to remain fresh and alive. This article covers Love tips 11 thru 20 in a series of 4 articles covering 40 practical tips to Enhance Your Love Life, and Keep Your Love Alive.
11) Take good care of yourself. When you feel tension present in your love life it is easy to reach for inappropriate food, alcohol or drugs. This is a big mistake. Resolve to pamper yourself. A healthy mind and body will translate into a healthy love life.
12) Sleep until rested. You can't make up for lost sleep. When you are well rested you are loving yourself and then you have more to offer your loved one.
13) Give genuine gifts! - Take the time to pay sincere gifts of love. Offer genuine compliments often. Offer generous praise for your partner. The road to prosperity in your love life will be paved with a commitment to generosity towards your partner.
14) Feel close to your partner. We feel closest to those who cause us to feel good about ourselves. Lavish expressions of love on your partner. Bring them straight from the heart.
15) Show appreciation. Nurture your love life with warmth and goodwill. This inspires your partner to want to please you. Appreciation is among the top ten needs for most people.

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Andy started school a few weeks ago. Unfortunately he does not give us a lot of information about it but he seems to be doing ok. Andy just started soccer and is enjoying that. He was on defense his last game and did pretty well kicking the ball back down the field to his opponents side. He did lose a little bit of skin on his knee after a fall but he was ok.
Sammy is doing well. He and Andy are playing soccer and really enjoying it. Sammy follows the crowd around as they kick the ball. He had a game last Saturday and just kinda ran around with everyone. He was kind of in the middle because there were the aggressive four years olds who actually stayed with and kicked the ball. There was Sammys crowd that followed those kicking the ball. Then there were those who just kinda ran around the soccer field. The games were played in the YMCA gym.
Elaina is working on potty training a bit. She has gone in the potty a few times but is still getting it down. Her favorite phrase at this time is "What you doing?" and asks it about every 30 seconds give or take. She loves shoes and will try everyone's on periodically. She also likes hanging out with her Aunt Melissa who is living with us currently.
Luke is doing well. His skin is a whole lot better. He has a little bit of redness here and there but overall he is doing good. He celebrated two birthday parties this year. One party was with Grandma Beaver, Grandpa Beaver, Aunt Pam, Aunt Holly, and the Karecks. The other party was with Grandma Harris, Uncle John, and Brook. He has graduated to more and more big people food with a grand total of seven teeth.
Sharon had a really fun Mommy trip to Florida this past weekend where she hung out with Marian and Holly. She watched some movies and enjoyed the beach. She also enjoyed Barnes and Nobles. Sharon has found that her passion is traveling. She purchased two maps for our kitchen walls. One map is of the US and the other is of the world. We hope that one day God will bless us with the ability to do more traveling.

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Well, my third post of the day... whoever reads this aren't you lucky? or unlucky? whichever way you look at it!

I have a small dilemma, or I guess I've been thinking too much in depth..

I have a boyfriend - a wonderful British guy! It still feels odd staying I have a boyfriend, it's been a long time.

Small background first. Had serious longterm boyfriend that I lived with up until Sept 2006 when I decided after 3 years I was no longer "in-love" with him and loved him only as a friend, broke his heart and broke mine by hurting him so much.

Met British boy in Feb/March 2007 in NZ (I moved to France end of March 2007) where he was doing some fieldwork for his PhD. First impressions..." mmmm who is that guy? he seems nice!" his of me were "who's that bitch?" seriously, I'd made a comment about a lecture we'd seen and he thought it was a bit harsh!! Alas, nice british boy had girlf of 5 years and I'd had a bit of fun with a german guy where british boy and I were staying. We kept in contact by email as he'd headed off to Argentina for fieldwork and I'd come over to France. He told me that he and girlf had broken up in April I guess and in June told me he'd started seeing someone else. He came to France in July to meet up with NZ supervisor who was over here. NZ supervisor so kindly told british boy I liked him while I was sitting on the couch with both of them, I walked off (bright thing to do I know cos then I had to explain myself!), conversations were had and we ended up kissing later that night and the remainder of his stay in France... I whisked off to Peru for a few months and we kept in contact but it was just a one off. Dec, I visited him and his family in Cambridge while I was in England for xmas, we had a fantastic day and night, hanging out, getting cosy... texts/emails got a bit more interesting.

I saw a french guy for a little bit in Dec and Jan. I really wanted to try to live in france more and forget about anglos, just to immerse myself in life/love here, but I kept thinking about british boy.

February we saw each other again twice. I visited him for a long weekend with just me and him and no other distractions. After February we decided to give the long distance a go - live for now, have fun, enjoy each other and not think about the long-term too much cos it'd get us down... I mean, why should we stop having fun together in case it doesn't work? It would hurt if it didn't and we could lose our friendship, but shouldn't we try just in case it does? We both agreed to be totally honest with each other and if it was not working/feelings changed/someone else came along, to be honest from the start - because I didn't want him to give up on a good relationship with someone that'd be there all the time for him, and vice versa.

Our relationship has gotten stronger since April and he started to refer to me as his girlfriend to people he introduced me to. I'm not sure whether his friends at university know yet though, which worries me a bit.. I think he worries about his ex and doesn't want to hurt her as she has been his only girlf.

It's so hard not to think of the longterm though. He quit his PhD in June to do a cadetship in Scotland which is 2 years and then he's tied to the company for another 5. I'm tied in France for another 1.5 - 2 years and then I can go anywhere depending on the visas of course.. and plans are to be in the UK or Australia.. but I would have to go back to NZ first to get the visa (and save for the visa).

I hate to think about whether we will last another 2 years? I mean 2 years is a long time to do long-distance (and we've both done it before and swore we wouldn't do it again), and we've never had a chance to know each other in a 'normal' relationship beforehand. I wonder sometimes if I'm just wasting my time, money, effort on something that will never materialise. It's difficult to runaway from my PhD for a long weekend once a month to see him (especially with my university supervisor)... he doesn't have enough days off in a row to make the awkward journey to see me in France. I don't want to scare him away by asking about the 'long-term' as we agreed to live for now, and now is great apart from missing him like crazy and the odd niggle of jealousy here and there. I love every minute I spend with him, time flies when we chat on the phone or over the internet... and I think he is absolutely wonderful... but sometimes I wonder if I'm more into it than he is? He talks about quitting his cadetship and going to NZ for the summer to work (I'll only be there for 3 weeks in Dec/Jan) and following another summer somewhere else. I guess I am scared because I haven't felt like this about someone since I first met my ex in 2003 (we spent 1.5 years of 3 long-distance in different islands in NZ). I'm too scared to tell him these things because I don't want to scare him...

That was one big ramble, but good to get it out.

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